Perfect Kids Make Mistakes Too: How to Handle #Perfectionism

Hi there,

Perfectionism, the tendency to set expectations that are unrealistic or difficult to meet, can be a real challenge for some kids.  It may mistakenly look like a kid with poor time management and procrastination behaviors when in fact they are really struggling with anxiety over completing a task perfectly.  Perfectionism can be a stand alone trait or be one of many compulsive behaviors like those seen along the OCD spectrum.  It can significantly impact academic learning and cause other issues like anxiety and depression. 

Here are some signs of perfectionism:

1-Consistent procrastination when it comes to tasks
2-Re-doing, re-writing, or re-checking work
3-Spending a long time on a task that typically should take only a few minutes
4-Stressing out over small details
5-Asking for reassurance or for someone to look over your work before submitting it

Here are some tips for talking to kids about dealing with perfectionism:

1. Use the following statements:                                                                                         "What's the worst thing about making a mistake?"                                                         "Everyone makes mistakes."                                                                                             "Mistakes are information. Sometimes they lead to better solutions."                                 "A mistake is not the end of the world."                                                                          "Mistakes are part of learning."
2. Share experiences where mistakes led to better solutions. 
3. Encourage kids to make small mistakes and take risks when they can
4. Model healthy ways of accepting mistakes. 

​Dr. S

​